Where to start when it's time to move

There's a lot involved in maintaining a home at any age. Digging out of the snow. Constantly running to the grocery store. Unclogging the toilet again. Some of us can't wait to give up those hassles to move into a community with other seniors. For others it can take a little more convincing.

“Many people remember the places their own grandparents were in years ago, and they don’t realize how different they are today," says Molly Fogel, LCSW, director of educational and social services for the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America.

With options ranging from completely independent condos to specialized facilities for people with dementia, Parkinson’s or other health needs, there is a match for everyone. Here are some tips for making the most of your search.

Don't wait to start looking.

It’s smart to start looking at the range of assisted-living facilities months, or even years, before you or a loved one is ready to make the move. Not only does that let you weigh different options without pressure, it gives you time to get on a waiting list at some of the most popular choices.

Start with what you're most looking forward to.

Do you want the independence to cook for yourself? Or the ease (and socialization) of meals with a group? Are bus trips and scheduled activities a draw? Is outdoor space like a garden a must-have?

“My dad is a World War II veteran, so it was important to him to find a place where there would be other veterans he could meet,” says Iris Waichler, LCSW, a patient advocate and author of Role Reversal: How to Take Care of Yourself and Your Aging Parents. “He also loves good food, so we made sure to try out a meal at the facility while we were touring.”

Check out leading options in person.

And don’t just listen to what the sales director and glossy brochures promise, says Waichler. “Visit again after hours or on the weekend,” she suggests. “See if the staff looks happy working there. Pay attention to how they treat they residents. If you see family members visiting, ask them if they are happy with the care their relatives are getting.”

Make sure you understand all the costs.

Ask detailed questions about what the total monthly cost will be now and as your relative’s needs increase, advises Briana Hilmer, RN, senior director of clinical quality for assisted with Western Home Communities in Iowa. Then go home and sit down to make sense of them.

Some facilities require a large buy-in, with lower monthly costs.  Others charge a modest move-in fee and a higher monthly rental fee. In addition to rent, prepare for extra charges for medication management and services. Things like help showering, dressing and an escort to meals all cost extra. And those fees will only increase as your family member needs more help.

Figure out what resources you might be able to tap.

If your relative has long-term care insurance, check to see whether he or she qualifies to begin coverage. Most require a diagnosis of dementia or help with a certain number of activities of daily living, such as bathing and feeding. Remember, even with long-term care insurance there is usually up to a 90-day "elimination period," when you pay out of pocket.

If your loved one requires skilled nursing care, check how much will be covered under Medicaid.

Consider enlisting a geriatric care manager.

Still need help?  A geriatric care manager can be invaluable. This type of pro is trained to assess your loved one’s situation and help you navigate the different types of assisted care available in your community. Care managers specialize in strategizing care services for seniors and their families.